So, after eagerly anticipating it since December (when I saw the trailer before that god-awful ‘Avatar’) I finally got to see ‘Piranha 3D’ this weekend. It certainly lived up to my expectations, and there were a lot of things a loved, and a lot of things I didn’t like.
The good:
* The actors – Elizabeth Shue kicks a lot of ass. I’ll admit, she’s only come into my consciousness the last few years, but between this and “Hamlet 2″ I think I may have to investigate her further. Ving Rhames, though, was woefully underutilized. Christopher Lloyd has a couple of cute scenes – - also, look for Eli Roth!
* The gore – I’m REALLY surprised this got away with an R-rating. I’ve been devouring horror movies since I was in elementary school, the gorier the better, and there were a few things in this movie that actually made my stomach turn a little.
* The special effects – Obviously the piranhas were very CGI, but I was really impressed with some of the practical effects. As I said, there was a lot of gore in this movie, but it seemed like they used practical effects (that is, “real” props and makeup) for everything they could. Lots of dismembered corpses and gnawed-upon legs that looked pretty good. (I’m a big fan of makeup & other practical effects, so this is something I tend to look for in horror movies.)
* The 3D – I’ve only seen a few movies in 3D, mostly because the ones I have seen haven’t really impressed me enough to justify the extra cost. (Like, say, the aforementioned Avatar. Have I mentioned that I hated that movie?) This one, though, really made good use of the 3D. Lots of fun.
* Apparently it pissed Joe Francis (of “Girls Gone Wild” fame) the hell off. Neat! (The link to the Onion AV Club has one minor spoiler, if you care about that.)
The bad:
* The male gaze – Oh lordy. You know… I think naked women are awesome. Especially underwater. I totally went into this movie with the attitude of “Yay! Nudity!” But… the way it was presented kind of crossed the line for me into insulting/uncomfortable. I liked the bit of commentary on the “Girls Gone Wild” phenomenon presented with Jerry O’Connell’s character (a thinly veiled caricature of Joe Francis) but I don’t feel it went far enough in condemning that kind of abusive exploitation, and I think the movie ended up being guilty of a lot of the same attitudes it was poking fun at. Wasn’t crazy about that. Also, the fact that the more explicit gore/violence was frequently sexualized and almost entirely aimed at young, busty women made me VERY uncomfortable.
* The pace – The best part of the movie was definitely the last half hour or so, where the bloodbath really picks up. I wish they had stretched this out a bit longer and cut out some of the earlier part of the movie, which really dragged at a few points.
I give it 7.5 stars: Some of the most entertaining horror I’ve seen in a while, but problematic enough to upset my inner feminist even more than most horror.
Here’s the trailer (which is pretty PG; nothing worse than a bunch of people in swimsuits):
So basically, if you love ridiculous, raunchy horror, go see it, as long as you’re okay with incredibly graphic dismemberment and a pretty good-sized spoonful of sexism. Violence against women isn’t cool, y’all.
So I went to see “Nanny McPhee Returns” with Heather last night. Those of you who know me might be asking “Why the hell would Ada go see that movie?” ‘Cause, y’know, I never saw the first one, and I generally avoid kids’ movies, especially in the theatre. Kids’ movies tend to be way too hyperactive for my tastes (and this one definitely did give me a bit of a headache) and I hate trying to watch a movie with a bunch of screaming larvae.
* I’m hot for Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhaal
* Maggie Smith and Asa Butterfield (Mordred from “Merlin”) are in it too… basically, it’s full of wizards
* It was free, and I’d get to spend an evening with Heather
* It was the Universal employee screening, so I figured it’d be relatively free of children
* The Universal Cineplex has a bar! So either way I was gonna enjoy myself.
Started the evening with a strawberry-banana daiquiri and a generous shot of Teaka sweet tea vodka (which is pretty darn good straight, I’ve gotta say). Made the first 20 minutes or so of the movie much more bearable.
In the beginning, I was pretty unimpressed by the movie. It takes place on a farm, so of course there was one joke about animal excrement after another after another after another… kind of tiresome. That, and I have a very low tolerance for screaming/fighting children. Of course, that’s kind of the point of the movie – - the kids are acting like brats and Nanny McPhee comes and straightens them out.
It got a lot better, after the beginning. Lots of animals, which I always enjoy watching. Found myself legitimately chuckling a few times at the baby elephant and the burping crow. The scene with the synchronized-swimming piglets, though, really made me wish I was watching the movie with a joint instead of a daiquiri.
I was pleasantly surprised by cameos from Ewan McGregor and Ralph Fiennes. Though there was one scene where I felt like Asa Butterfield was about to get Avada Kedavra-ed. (This was also around the time one of the few children in the audience started wailing, and their guardian was apparently unwilling to take them out of the theatre. Bleah. I think yelling Ralph Fiennes was a little too much for them.)
I think the only thing I legitimately objected to was a few “LOL UNATTRACTIVE WOMEN” jokes. God forbid you’re fat or you’ve got moles or big eyebrows (yeah, some of the movie didn’t exactly make me feel good about myself)…
I’d give it 6/10: Definitely watchable, but I don’t think I’d watch it again unless I was under the influence of some questionable substance. Not a bad choice if you want something to watch with young children, though.
Here’s the trailer if you think you might be interested:
So Heather and I went to a free preview screening of “Vampires Suck” tonight and had a blast.
The venue:
The screening was at Citywalk. I’ve been to a lot of movie screenings, but this was the first one that actually felt like an “event”… I was impressed (albeit easily). There were free drinks… I had an “Alice” (which was blue and lemony) and Heather had a “Buffy” (which was something involving root beer)… and they didn’t skimp on the alcohol, which was a pleasant surprise. XL 106.7 had a table set up where they were doing free vampire facepainting. I ended up passing on that after I saw some of the facepainting (it wasn’t _bad_, just a real quick job) though apparently they were also doing a raffle at the table.
The movie:
I’ll admit, I set my sights pretty low. Growing up I loved spoof movies (Naked Gun, Airplane, anything by Mel Brooks), but the last few years they’ve been pretty lacking. I feel like the Scary Movie films revived the genre and then beat it to death, like something out of Re-Animator. So I was kind of hoping for the best and expecting the worst.
But I’ve gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed the hell out of this movie, and found myself laughing quite obnoxiously. The cast was great, and they all had a really good sense of comedic timing, which is something missing from most mainstream comedies lately. Chris Riggi (“Jacob White”) in particular stole the scenes he was in. And honestly, Jenn Proske would have made a hell of a better Bella than Kristen Stewart ever could. Ken Jeong (“Daro”, but you probably know him as Señor Chang from “Community”) didn’t get nearly enough screen time, though. And Diedrich Bader was a pleasant surprise, but his talents were badly underutilized.
The rest of the audience seemed to like it, even though on the way in it seemed to be pretty divided between people who loved Twilight and people who hated it. Though the couple next to us walked out about 20 minutes in; I don’t know if the humor was too raunchy or what…
GO SEE THIS MOVIE, _IF_:
* You’ve seen ‘Twilight’ and either
a) you hated it and want to see somebody artfully snark on it or
b) you liked it but are okay with somebody poking fun at it.
Let me reiterate: You really need to have seen the first Twilight movie to appreciate this movie, or at _least_ have read the first book. You didn’t have to _like_ it, but you need to be familiar with it.
But seriously. I laughed my ass off, and I’m pretty damn picky about comedies. I’d give it 7.5 out of 10. Would have given it an 8 if there weren’t several “dead spots” in the film where they didn’t really keep the comedy going.
* Apparently there’s a movie of ‘A Handmaid’s Tale’ that came out in 1990. It looks like it might be a little cheesy, but I love the story, and it’s got Natasha Richardson and Robert Duvall. Speaking of…
I swear I didn’t cheat; this was my first try. I saw somebody post their result, and I tried my (friends-locked) June 25th LJ entry as a decent representative of my writing style. I FLIPPED OUT WITH JOY when I saw this result.
* How did I never get into Isaac Asimov until now? I’ve heard of him, obviously, and read a little bit _about_ his work, but hadn’t properly read any of it, I’m embarrassed to say. Recently the VCC East library got rid of a ton of books, and I grabbed a few, including a copy of Buy Jupiter and Other Stories. I’ve been slowly reading it, and I am amazed. Not only at how good it is, but how FUNNY it is. Every story so far has made me laugh out loud and/or given me something to chew on, intellectually speaking. Of course, I’ve only gotten as far as “The Monkey’s Finger”, so hopefully it doesn’t go downhill. I doubt it, though.
This book in particular is a great introduction, I feel, because each story is accompanied by notes by the author, about the story itself, that stage in his life, or whatever…
Honestly, reading about him, he seems like a really cool guy. Smart, progressive, and all-around pretty likable. Too bad he died almost 20 years ago; I want to give him a big hug.
* Babylon 5. It’s amazing. You know it, I know it. For those of you who are going to Dragon*Con, Claudia Christian (Susan Ivanova) and Jason Carter (Marcus Cole) are going to be there. Also, if you’re going to D*C, come hang out and get drunk with me & my girlfriend! XD (We’re almost done with season 1 of B5, and I told her we HAVE to get through at least season 4 before D*C… so until then, no spoilers!)
I’ll close with a couple of videos. The first one made me laugh, the second one made me CRY. The second one has quotes from throughout the series, but it doesn’t really spoil any of the events.
Now for the horrible downer… one of the greats is gone. Frank Frazetta 1928-2010
Frazetta and Vallejo have always been, to me, THE fantasy artists. I wish I had something more eloquent to say about this. What a loss, but what a legacy.
All right, so… blatantly copying someone else’s work and passing it off as your own? Kind of sleazy. Promoting your (stolen) work with a message of the importance of being unique and being yourself? That’s a bit sleazier, but, y’know, not worth calling for blood, especially since it was just one piece that they retired a while back anyways. And after all, I think it’s arguable that they didn’t steal the character design, just that particular piece of art.
But… pre-emptively suing the people you stole from so they won’t defend their work? That’s pretty reprehensible. Like, really, really sleazy. I confess, they’re not losing much business from me since I was never into Emily to begin with, but please, don’t support this.
Kids’ books are being destroyed. FUCK THAT. I’ve been hearing about this for a while, but it didn’t sound like it was actually going to endanger any books or book dealers. Guess I was wrong!
Sorry, seeing books destroyed really, really upsets me. Especially old books. Makes me want to hoard them to protect them.
—–
Now… to end on a happy note…
Cool guys don’t look at explosions.
Just… watch the video. I laughed till I just about cried.
