Honey

So I’ve kept trying to post about this for several days now, and I just can’t come up with the thing to say. So I guess I’ll just post, because I think if I don’t post now I never will. And I felt like I should say something.
My dog Honey died on the 14th. I started crying immediately when my mom told me… and then I had to just talk about other things because I couldn’t stand it any more… and I managed to cry a little the next day, when I had to talk to her about arrangements, but I haven’t managed to cry any since then. I’ve wanted to, just… couldn’t.
My brain just can’t accept that she’s gone. I can even look at pictures and think yeah, I’m never going to see her again, but I don’t really _know_ it. Maybe it’s because I wouldn’t look at her after she died. I’ve lost dozens of pets, and normally it’s something I insist on… something I have to do… but I just couldn’t this time. Couldn’t bear it. Wanted to remember her the way she was, didn’t want to see her like that.
I just can’t imagine a world without her in it. It doesn’t seem like that could be the real world.
We got her, if I remember correctly, in March 1993. Sometime that spring. We adopted her from the Orlando Humane Society; she was about a year and a half old. (So I guess that made her… about 19?) I fell in love with her instantly. “I love this little dog”, I think were my exact words when we were making our decision at the shelter. One of my earliest memories of her is curling up in front of the TV with her to watch the very first episode of the X-Files when it came on. She was about the closest I got to a little sister growing up. She was ALWAYS happy to see me, and my mom said she would get really depressed when I was away at school.
I’ve always dreaded losing her. I think it started when I was a kid and I had a nightmare that this teacher I really didn’t like at school had said Honey had bit her or something, and she called animal control to have her taken away and put to sleep. When I was a kid I used to sleep with the radio on (oldies, always) and when I woke up from the dream “The Sound of Silence” was playing on the radio. For most of my life I couldn’t listen to that song without wanting to cry, and right now I’m not sure I ever want to hear it again.
I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights dreading this day, even though I tried to tell myself it was going to come either way and I should just enjoy my time with her. After I moved out of my parents’ house, I couldn’t take her with me, but every time I visited I made sure to visit her and talk to her and make sure she knew I loved her, especially the last few years when she wasn’t doing so good.
These pictures are from when she was younger and a lot healthier. She’s always hated cameras, so the only way to get a picture where she wasn’t cowering was to surprise her or hide the camera. These are the only two I happened to have access to right now; my mom’s supposed to get me some more, because we have lots…

I feel kind of empty.

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Tags: animals, loss, pets, photos

Cooking and mourning

So first off, some sad news… I lost one of my ratties a few days ago. My little guy Mal took ill suddenly a couple weeks ago. The vet said it was basically a lost cause, but we still treated him with antibiotics and eyedrops and hand-fed him lots of good stuff, and made him as comfortable and happy as possible till the end.

Unfortunately, I think this picture George took is the only real photo I have of him. =(

He was right around two years old. So now I’m down to one rat, Mal’s brother Wash, and I’m looking for some new companions for him.

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Less sad stuff… I did some more cooking last night. On the menu was Fried Cabbage, Southern Style and Vegan Cornbread.

Overall, I liked it; it was all very quick and easy to make, and the cabbage was very flavorful. Honestly, it may have been a little heavy on the salt and vinegar, but then Southern food is not known for its subtlety, I suppose. The cornbread was a little dense/dry for my taste; I might try adding more milk and baking powder next time.

River was nearby when I was taking pictures, so for no good reason here’s a picture of her with my meal. (She loves veggies, so of course she wanted a piece of cabbage, despite my warnings about the spiciness… yeah, she wasn’t too wild about it.)

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Tags: animals, baking, cats, cooking, loss, pets, rats, vegan, vegetarian

Cooking and turtles! (But not cooking turtles…)

So, first off, I skipped class last week to rescue a turtle. I was driving to school and it was in the road, so I had to scoop it up and take it home… I’m 90% sure it came out of Lake Chapin (by UCF), which is very close to a busy road with no fencing or other protection, so I didn’t feel too comfortable about just tossing it back there. Ended up taking it over to Blanchard Park, but I snapped a couple pictures first.

Ze’s in my bathtub, lol.

It’s very difficult to see the markings in the photos, and ze didn’t seem too keen on posing for me, staying firmly in hir shell when I was around, but I’m 95% sure ze was a Florida Red-Belly Turtle.

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Anyways. Cooking! Today I’ve got two recipes I made from the Vegetarian Epicure Book Two. In the book they are not vegan recipes, but I adapted them to make them vegan, as I’ll explain below.

First is Sweet Potato Soup.

Here’s a pic of me stirring it so you can really see all the vegetable chunk.

This soup is good (and better once it sits in the fridge overnight) but it still needs a little something. I tried adding some extra paprika, but that was insufficient. I’m thinking maybe it could use some extra lemon juice and just a little black pepper.

The recipe calls for butter and heavy cream. Instead I used Smart Balance Light for the butter (make sure you get the right one; not all varieties of Smart Balance are vegan, or even vegetarian) and this recipe for vegan heavy cream. (Scroll to the very bottom of the page; there’s a recipe that uses sunflower oil. It’s excellent.)

For dessert is Castillian Hot Chocolate.

I had a little trouble with this one, mostly because I was trying to rush it. I need to try it again when I have much more time; it really needs time to slowly come to a gentle simmer. I ended up with a bit too much cocoa residue at the bottom (not to mention a bunch that bubbled over onto my stove :P ).

This was also a non-vegan recipe; I just had to substitute soy milk for the regular milk.

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Tags: animals, cooking, dessert, soup, turtles, vegan, vegetarian, wildlife